Have you ever cooked a turkey? I’m a foodie, and I love to cook, and I’ve been the chief cook and bottle-washer at more than a few Thanksgivings, so I’ve taken a crack at cooking a turkey several times now. For those who don’t know how to cook one, you basically take a huge, naked bird and throw it in the oven for a really long time.
But if you toss it in the oven and cook it until it looks brown, you may think that it’s done and ready to eat. After you cut into it to try to eat it, you find that it’s raw on the inside and completely uneatable. This can be really confusing the first time you cook one, because on the outside, it looks ready to go, but on the inside, a lot of work still has to be done.
So why do we approach change with the same philosophy? We constantly look for outward signs of change – we want to see that debt disappear or we want to see those muscles pop or that number on the scale go down. But change starts on the inside first, and that’s where we need to be patient.
We are halfway through with a “biggest loser” contest here at work, and I’ve managed to gain four pounds. The fact is that attempting to make changes in your life does you absolutely no good if you aren’t changed on the inside. You need to believe that the change can – and will – happen. Paying off all of your debt will never happen if you don’t understand and believe in the power of controlling your money habits. If you keep approaching money as if you’re a victim, you will stay in debt forever. Try building a business without believing in its success and see how far you get. If I stay on that diet and try hard to lose weight, but constantly talk to everybody about how I can’t lose weight, it won’t happen.
I’ve been on diets before and experienced both success and failure. The key to making real, effective changes for me is momentum. No change happens overnight, so you need to take some time to build up that momentum – and that starts in your head.
When you cook a turkey, you cook it slowly on low heat, so that the middle has a several hours to get done before the outside is crisp. Just like cooking that turkey, the change inside takes time, but it’s worth it. True, meaningful momentum will keep you going when the results aren’t apparent.
We’ve all had our fill of change in this challenging year. How are we doing? I think we are handling things better than we think. But we need to recognize that it will take a little bit of time, and we need to acknowledge that the change starts with us first. If we can focus on developing constructive beliefs in the beginning, that’s what will carry us through. Otherwise we’ll just wind up trying to pull the trigger while our mindsets are still “raw” – and we won’t like the results.
According to Socrates, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
I believe, if we take time to let ourselves “cook,” the challenges we are facing in 2020 will ultimately make us more compassionate, kinder and gentler.
Christina Pierce is publisher of The Pine Belt News and Signature Magazine.
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