Do you vote? Are you even registered to vote? I hope not.
I’ll tell you why I say that. You see, if you aren’t registered or just plain do not exercise your civic right and duty to vote, well, that allows me to make the decisions for you. The reason I can say that is because I always vote. Have since I was 18 years old. As a voter, I get a say in who represents me in local offices, state offices and national offices. Those who do not vote, well, they let folks like me choose who represents them and that’s just fine by me.
I will admit that I have not always used sound logic in marking my ballot. I’m guessing most people who have cast as many ballots as I have can say the same thing.
Someone does something to tick us off, we vote against them. A candidate promises something we are sure they can never come through with, we still vote for them. We do not approve of their religion or they belong to the wrong civic club, not getting my vote. Or at least not in the past.
Quite a few years ago, however, I began “vetting” candidates before deciding who to vote for. Guess what was not a prerequisite? Political party affiliation.
I have voted for Republicans, Democrats and Independents. Thus far, I cannot recall voting for a Libertarian or Green Party candidate. Who knows, maybe someday I will.
One time quite a number of years ago, I was doing my due diligence and comparing a couple of local candidates who were running for the same office. Their credentials were almost identical. It was a tough choice but there was one, and only one, difference that I could determine. One of the contestants belonged to a bass club and the other didn’t. Since I like fishing, I voted for him.
As a Georgia native, and quite a young one and not as politically savvy as I am now, I voted for Jimmy Carter for president. Twice. Not in the same election.
I voted for a black candidates before it was popular. I voted for Alan Keys during the Republican primary and then wrote his name in for president. I was prepared to vote for Herman Cain (after Mike Huckabee dropped out) as well. His campaign ended before I got the chance. When it comes to voting, and most other things, I choose character over color. Can you say the same?
I will say I am not quite ready to jump on the Kanye West bandwagon just yet. He still has a lot to prove before I can commit to that vote. You may remember my column on that topic.
OK, back to our original topic of why you shouldn’t vote.
There are six constitutional amendments on this year’s ballot. Yes, six. It’s possible you did not know that and are completely clueless as to what they are about or how to vote.
Don’t worry. I’ll take care of that for you as well.
There are also seven presidential candidates on the ballot in Levy County, not just the two who get 99 percent of the attention. See, you do have choices. You just haven’t done your homework.
The solution? Skip the election and allow me to make those tough choices for you.
By now I am hoping you get the true message in this column. Certainly the sarcasm is dripping from word to word. Of course, if you can’t see it, that’s not a problem. Just follow my advice and allow me to cast a ballot that represents both of us.
In closing, you will notice I have endorsed no candidates nor have I slandered any, which is quite unusual in today’s environment.
I do not really do any “stumping” for candidates online, either. For those who follow my Facebook page, you are aware that almost all of my political posts are chocked full of humor. Unfortunately there are plenty of folks out there who have lost their sense of humor and fail to see anything funny about them. I almost always laugh at their tirades.
Before I go, let me ask again. Do you vote? Are you even registered?
Don’t sweat it. I’ve got it covered for both of us.
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Mark My Words: Sit back, relax and allow me to vote for both of us - Chiefland Citizen
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